Each lesson has a writing task/homework for you, and I don't usually do them but thought I might try it out on this one.
Prompt:
Imagine this scenario: Jenna and Alice receive news about their friend Hannah, putting their holiday plans on hold. Write a brief extract of dialogue between the first two friends. First, write it as an info dump deliberately. Make them share information they both already know about Hannah’s situation.
Then rewrite the same exchange four times:
- Once as an argument.
- Next, as fact-comparing dialogue.
- Thirdly, make one character not know the bad news.
- Lastly, rewrite the plot exposition as narration, not dialogue.
So, here goes:
1) Info dump:
"As you know, Jenna, Hannah's gotten into a car accident, and since it looks like she's at fault, she needs to pay for the damages to the other guy's car. She doesn't have much money, so she won't have enough for the holiday we're planning. I think we might have to cancel." Alice said, clearly upset.
"Yeah, it's really annoying, Alice. And I don't think there's any way we can go just the two of us. After all, our budget was really tight even when we were splitting the accommodation between the three of us. Unless we go to a cheaper place like a hostel or something..."
"But Jenna, Hannah's really upset right now. We've already had some big fights with her, and if we go without her, she might never want to be friends with us again..." Alice replied.
2) As an argument:
"I can't believe Hannah's ruining our holiday, God she's so annoying!" Jenna threw herself onto the lounge and crossed her arms tightly.
"Hey, don't be mean!" Alice snapped back. "It wasn't even her fault!"
"Yes it was! She got herself into a car accident, and now she can't pay for the trip - the trip that we've been trying to plan for MONTHS. And because she can't pay, we can't even go! That's so unfair, Alice, can't you see?"
"No, it wasn't her fault! That guy reversed into her, but since it looks like she rear-ended him, that's why she has to pay for the damages. You're being SO insensitive Jenna - imagine how she feels, having to pay for something that's not her fault, and not being able to go on holiday for it, and making us not go?"
"Ugh, well why shouldn't we go? We should just go without her."
"Jenna, don't be like that. You know that it'd be rude to do that to her. And anyway, we'd have to split the accommodation between just the two of us, and we don't have enough money for that - our budget was tight enough splitting between three."
"Yeah, well we could just find a cheaper place to stay. I don't care if Hannah gets upset about it. We've had so many fights, that even if she doesn't want to be friends with us anymore after this, I'll be happy."
"You're horrible, Jenna."
3) As fact-comparing dialogue:
"Hey, did you hear anything new from Hannah?" Jenna asked Alice.
"Hmm, the last thing she told me was that she has to pay for the other guy's car repairs." Alice replied.
"What? She told me she wasn't at fault!"
"She wasn't! The guy reversed into her, but there were no witnesses so it looks like she rear-ended him, which means she's supposedly at fault."
"Damn, that sucks. Well, I was gonna ask if we could all do a call together to discuss the holiday plans. Do you think she'd be too upset to do that?"
"Well..."
"What?" Jenna's stomach flipped at the look on Alice's face.
"Well... I think she won't have enough money to go on the trip anymore... so we might have to call it off..."
"WHAT? Are you kidding me? We've been planning for months! And we can't just go without her?"
"You know how she'd feel about that, she's already upset enough as is..." Alice looked off into the distance.
"Yeah, and we've been fighting a lot lately... if we do that she probably wouldn't even talk to us anymore!"
4) One character does not know the bad news:
"Hey Jenna, have you heard about Hannah?"
"No, what happened?" Something about Alice's tone made Jenna think that bad news was coming.
"She got into a car accident."
"What? Is... is she okay? What happened?"
"Yeah, she's fine. Someone reversed into her in a car park, but it looks like she rear-ended him. There's no witnesses so he's blaming her, and she has to pay for the damages." Alice sighed and sat back.
"God... how bad is it?"
"Bad enough that she won't have enough money for the trip," Alice replied.
"What? Are you serious? Shit. And there's no chance of us just going without her, I'm guessing?"
Alice laughed. "You seriously think that's gonna go down well with her? Especially after all those fights we've been having lately?"
"Ughhhh, but this holiday has taken us MONTHS to plan. It'd be selfish of her to tell us not to go just because she can't afford it. I mean, we'd probably have to look for somewhere cheaper to stay, but we could still make it work."
"Jenna, if we go, she probably won't ever talk to us again."
"I'm fine with that!"
5) Narration, not dialogue:
Jenna and Alice were frantic. They knew Hannah wasn't at fault, but they couldn't help but feel resentment at the fact that her car accident was endangering their trip. They both secretly wanted to continue as planned, knowing that they'd have to find an alternative, and cheaper, accommodation. But at the same time they knew that this would hurt Hannah's feelings, and she might never forgive them for leaving her behind.
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Comment: I think this was a fun little challenge; it helped me think about how I want to actually write dialogue. The first challenge is meant to be the easiest, but it was actually kind of hard to write because it felt horrible. Although, that was the point of this exercise: to show you that info dumps through dialogue are never a good idea - they just don't seem realistic enough. It was interesting coming up with conflict for the second challenge, and I actually found the last challenge really difficult because I felt like you lost a lot of personal details and characterisation by limiting it to pure narration. I'd recommend this exercise to anyone who's not sure what the best way of writing dialogue is for their next plot point.
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