17/02/2020: Valentine's Day

It is a bright, sunny day, and yet I feel miserable as I pound the pavement on my way to work. Valentine's Day decorations are strewn all over the city, making my stomach churn. I know surely I cannot be the only one not celebrating, but everyone around me seems to be carrying some type of Valentine's Day treat, whether it's flowers, a box of chocolates, or some other type of pampering they have inflicted on themselves.

Society has never been subtle about celebrating Valentine's Day, the day where all single people celebrate their independence.

Me, on the other hand, am in a relationship.

I don't like to bring it up unless someone asks, because every time I do, there's always that look of pity, a placement of a 'comforting' hand on the shoulder, or the classic, "I really hope you find love for yourself, you deserve to be happy!"

Of course, I could just buy my own bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates and blend in with the rest of the crowd in the city, but the second I walk into work, my colleagues will start their pity party for me again, assuming that my partner bought them for me.

I sigh as I quickly step aside to avoid a woman (wearing an indiscreet "I HEART ME" t-shirt) carrying a huge bouquet of flowers in her arms; the bouquet swings precariously from side to side as the woman flaunts every bit of singleness in her body.

Don't get me wrong, I don't actually hate single people. In fact, I'd love to be single. It's just that for the majority of my life, I've been in a relationship, and for some reason I can't seem to be single.

I sometimes catch myself wishing I could break up with my partner and flaunt the single life. I could be totally independent, I could do whatever I wanted to do, and I wouldn't have to rely on or answer to anyone else.

But the fact is... I can't stand being by myself. I loathe myself, and when I'm not with my partner, or with other people, I just feel so horribly lonely. It's quite frankly really pathetic.

I wonder how single people do it. To be so confident in life, to be so loving to yourself, to prioritise self-care... I want that. I really, really want that.

I know my partner feels the same way. We love each other, but... we both know we're ashamed of each other. If either of us could completely change our personalities, we'd dump each other in a heartbeat. It's even worse when society has days like Valentine's to celebrate singleness, and the rest of us are left to doing double dates to make ourselves feel a little less lonely.

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Word count: 465

Comment: Valentine's Day has just passed around and I thought about a society where singleness and independence were celebrated, and being in a relationship was pitied. I think it is so cruel and unfair that our current society celebrates love and makes single people feel like they are of less value, or to be pitied. I know a lot of single people who love being single, and I know that when I was single that was definitely a great time for finding yourself, loving yourself, and being comfortable being alone.

Being in a relationship is nice, but I think a relationship can only be strong if both people are comfortable being on their own. You shouldn't have to be dependent on a partner because you're scared of being single or being alone; I think if this were the case then there would be a lot of unrealistic expectations of relationships filling up some sort of empty void in yourselves. If you rely on your partner to fill your empty void, then the energy they use to fill your void might create an empty void in themselves as well, and you end up with a relationship that has a few holes in it.

Rather, you should fill that empty void with your own self love, and you should be a whole, complete person before entering a relationship. That way, the relationship is made of two strong independent people, whose wholeness adds to each others' lives.

03/02/2020: On a train

Prompt: Write a short story that takes place on a train


--------------------------------------------------------- A loud coughing breaks my train of thought. Automatically, I glance over to where the coughing came from. Is this coronavirus? I look over again, this time more deliberately.

Oh, no, it can't be. That lady's white. I relax a bit more in my seat. Wait... am I racist? ...Probably.

I brush it off and go back to what I was thinking of: "If a terrorist came into this carriage, what would I do?" From where I'm sitting, I can see the doors that lead to the next carriage in front, but I obviously can't see the doors leading into the carriage behind me, unless I fully turn around, which would be weird for my adjacent passengers. And, I guess, anyone in that area of the train that so happens to look up and see me staring at them. No, I'll just have to focus on the doors in front of me and just pray nothing happens behind me.

If a terrorist arrives, I could see him. Or her, I guess. I mean, equality, right?

Anyway, there's only limited leg space in these cramped, underfunded trains, so I'll have to quickly duck under before anyone else. That way, if the terrorists start shooting, the chairs (and the other people) would block me.

Then what? Maybe I can play dead. Although I'd have to try and make sure I'm close to the side of the train, since it'll be harder for them to check if I'm still alive there. I'm sitting in the aisle seat now, and if I play dead here, they could easily poke or kick me to see if I'm just pretending.

I wonder if I could overpower them.

Not from here, though, right in the centre of the carriage. I'd have to make my way to the seat at the far end of this section, right next to the stairs. That way, when they're going down the stairs I could pounce on them. But I wouldn't be able to get there without being seen. Unless...

I stick my head into the aisle so I can look under the seats.

Oh, my heart sinks. Each chair on the train has a diagonal bar sticking into the ground that would make crawling under them impossible.

"Ahem, excuse me." I hear a voice above me. I look up and behind to see an annoyed lady leading a line of commuters through the carriage. They must have just gotten on at the last station, and here I am, my head sticking out into the aisle, blocking their way.

I quickly apologise and sink into my chair. God, I hope they don't hate me. They all pass, they all find their seats, and the train is no longer bustling again.

A loud coughing behind me. Automatically, I glance over in that direction, but I can't see anything unless I turn around to see who coughed. I tap my foot in restless agitation.

Is this coronavirus?

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Word count: 493

Comment: I haven't really ever written a character who was really paranoid/anxious so this was fun. I have had some of these types of thoughts before - thinking up the worst case scenario on a boring train ride, but not to this level of detail. I wanted to make this character ridiculous but still sort of normal - it's not a clinical level of paranoia, but it's paranoid and anxious enough to be considered a bit odd.